It’s international break, so forgive us for this rather ridiculous article – but after Liverpool published their full Premier League squad list today (middle names included!) why not…?
We thought we knew Liverpool’s players pretty thoroughly, but now we know our skipper’s full name, we feel all the closer!
Here are five full names of Liverpool players we think are infinitely better than the ones they’ve chosen to go by…
Jordan Brian Henderson
A proper, English man’s name – that. No messing. Jordan Brian Henderson will press relentlessly and hasn’t shirked out of a tackle since the playground. Love it.
Dylan Alonso Ryan
We hadn’t heard much about the Australian Academy teenager until now. The 15-year-old centre-back joined in the winter from Down Under, but as he shares a middle name with our classiest ever Premier League midfielder, we’ll keep an eye out!
Joel Andre Matip Job
Remember Middlesbrough’s Joseph-Desire Job, the Cameroonian forward? Turns out Matip shares the same surname, we just didn’t know about it!
Lucas Leiva Pezzini
Lucas is a pretty sharp footballer’s name in itself, but we didn’t know there was anything else other than ‘Leiva’ alongside it. Due to our Brazilian’s Italian roots though, he has an ultra-cool European surname in ‘Pezzini’. Apparently the midfielder has an Italian passport to boot! If he’d have kept ‘Pezzini’ he’d no doubt still be a no.10 instead of an anchorman.
Roberto Firmino Barbosa de Oliveira
The fact Roberto Firmino doesn’t go by the name ‘Bobby Barbosa’ is a travesty for English football. That’s all we’ve got to say on the matter.