Torres in dramatic Reds U-turn!

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Breaking reports have surfaced that Chelsea’s new misfiring number nine Fernando Torres is reportedly planning a summer return to Liverpool Football Club.

A spokesperson for Chelsea said, ‘Fernando has expressed a desire to leave the club for pastures old and has indicated that Liverpool is to be his destination of choice, his agent has told us that he’s not happy and the main reason being that he’s upset about the amount of traffic within London’s city centre which makes shopping for hair dye a ******* nightmare.’

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has told Liverpool Football Club that if they wish to resign the Spaniard that an offer of £11,000,000 will be the minimum that they expect in regards to an initial fee. Sky Sports News managed to speak to a CFC (Chelski Fan Club) spokesman about the shocking breaking news. Super fan Sep Blatter said, ‘To be honest its a huge blow, he was one of the most attractive members of the side and had increased female attendance figures dramatically, with players like John Terry and Ashley Cole now once again at the forefront of our female sex appeal, figures are likely to take a huge downward swing almost immediately.

Torres has scored 0 goals in 8 games since his January transfer from Merseyside providing an impressive goal scoring ratio of 0 in 8.

There’s been no officially word from any Liverpool officials but the unofficial word is, ‘Chelsea can keep the blonde haired traitor and we’ll keep the £50 million we scammed them for!’

We’ll have to wait and see how this story develops.



  1. Hey guys, its worth the £50 million to just laugh at a great club playing in the Europa league and get beaten time and time again, if you even manage to qualify for that.

  2. Lol, bulls***. Even if it was remotely true Chelsea wouldn’t sell him back for 1/5 of the price we sold him for.

  3. Omg you got me… I was soooo pissed when I found out. Bellend of the month goes to me. -.-


  4. yeah yeah April fool crap just like Koptalk which stated Benitez to be re-appointed at Liverpool. Torres is not welcome at Liverpool even on a free

  5. TORRES left for Chelsea ,their is no room for such a player and in livepool we believe no player is bigger than the club YNWA

  6. Might as well have been true, especially the traitor bit. We traded the sod for two much better frontmen and the Fools joke is on Roman!

  7. But mate he hasn’t had blond hair for months. Perhaps you have been watching the wrong player with the wrong club. ha ha ha ha

  8. this is a very nice april fool,but i want to assure that LIVERPOOL fans does’nt fail into april fool and even if its manufactured to be true LFC can’t ascept any relationship with a betrayal like f.t.

  9. Perscriptions in Scotland are from today FREE FOR ALLLLL even if they are working! joining Wales and N Ireland where this has been the case for a few years now, leaving England and the English the only ones paying for Perscriptions, and actually they rose today by 30p too!!.


    Oh no wait….er shit its true!.

  10. Good effort still not as funny as wen I read Chelsea paid £50m for a player who is always injured, not scoring and who’s best is past him. Now that had me laughing! 1 player out 2 world class in)

  11. bluemel,its gonna be funny when u can’t play in europe cos u spend more than u earn in revenue theres 2 english teams that fall into that catagory and they both play in RED AND WHITE good luck when the ruso gets bored

  12. Alan 3 clubs, Arsenal are in that catagory aswell, Uefa and sports writers themselves have said 2 club’s to benefit from this new ruling are Bayern Munich and Arsenal.

    But i don’t see Uefa having the bottle to throw teams out especially the likes of Chelsea even if they do over spend, the sponsors who pay in the region of 800 million in advertising a season in CL will end up pulling out if the clubs are thrown out, after all its called the CL and the big clubs should be playing in it. But i do think it will make clubs like Man Shity and Chavski think and spend wisely……YNWA

  13. Sorry, even for an April fool joke, this totally sucked for me…wouldn’t want Judas back..even as a joke!!!

  14. LOL love it, if you thought there were any truth in this then you’re really slow, all it is really is some banter that makes Fernando Torres look like a real idiot LOL

  15. torres will get his form back in the match against stroke and will score a hatrik ….i bet…

  16. Your a club that a world class striker does not want to play for, says a lot itself. And 50 million is bargain, 35 of it went to Carrol.. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at your stupidity

  17. Fuck you tosser Torres aint comin back end of you git i would like it if you stopped posting shit

  18. hate torres and owen, never even speak of them at all, end of the line they are.

    we are going to move on and thats that!

  19. Don’t know why people are saying get over him etc, it’s a joke and I pissed my self laughing when I read the article. Respect to the author! YNWA

  20. If torres did want to come back he would do well if he rememmbers his first goal he scored against chelsea an all u saw was a big fat person pointing at him like wat a doushe if he did come back i would favour suarez to start until he put in a request we wer laughin in chelseas faces next hes down stanford bridge gettin a 5 year contract signed i love this skrtel scored today hes scored at least 2 this season torres has 9 this season with liverpool i was lolling so hard when torres didnt evan score 1nc for chelsea think of his ratio it would be 14:0 if he scored none for chelsea that would be some ground to cover in just 1 season he wont do as half as good as he did at liverpool the only reason he is worth ’50 millon’ because the squad made him that good so he hasnt got the supply which he had at liverpool

  21. its disgustin bt once again interestin if only there is trueth in it.Torres was a big lad nd wud lyk to hv him’t wait to c lininction of torres,suarez up front, downing,stevie,lucas,bellamy/kuyt in de mid nd enrique carra coates johnsen nd reina at the back.

  22. Alright people, the rumour is torres, is supposedly going to be back at anfield, personally i dont want him back, but people are saying we got 50 million for him, take a look at the figures, we spent 35 on carroll so in basic mathimatical terms we got Andy carroll plus 15million, which i can speak for everyone Carroll is shocking…

  23. Sign him back for 20m. it will be a good buy.He is gud forward,he always love liverpool.Let us get him back.

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