Breaking reports have surfaced that Chelsea’s new misfiring number nine Fernando Torres is reportedly planning a summer return to Liverpool Football Club.
A spokesperson for Chelsea said, ‘Fernando has expressed a desire to leave the club for pastures old and has indicated that Liverpool is to be his destination of choice, his agent has told us that he’s not happy and the main reason being that he’s upset about the amount of traffic within London’s city centre which makes shopping for hair dye a ******* nightmare.’
Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has told Liverpool Football Club that if they wish to resign the Spaniard that an offer of £11,000,000 will be the minimum that they expect in regards to an initial fee. Sky Sports News managed to speak to a CFC (Chelski Fan Club) spokesman about the shocking breaking news. Super fan Sep Blatter said, ‘To be honest its a huge blow, he was one of the most attractive members of the side and had increased female attendance figures dramatically, with players like John Terry and Ashley Cole now once again at the forefront of our female sex appeal, figures are likely to take a huge downward swing almost immediately.
Torres has scored 0 goals in 8 games since his January transfer from Merseyside providing an impressive goal scoring ratio of 0 in 8.
There’s been no officially word from any Liverpool officials but the unofficial word is, ‘Chelsea can keep the blonde haired traitor and we’ll keep the £50 million we scammed them for!’
We’ll have to wait and see how this story develops.